Maybe we should take a break

There are many ways to break up a relationship, some are creative (sending a voice-recorded build-a-bear with the message "I think we should break up") and some are just lame (texts, IMs, over the phone... or in any way that involves saying "it's me, not you"), but, no matter how you do it, it's still going to be painful.

You know what's a bad way of breaking up with someone?

Telling them that you still love him, that you need him or that you feel that he is the one, but that you don't really know what's going on, what's going to happen between you and that... maybe, the best thing to do, is take a little break.

Oh come on.

I don't want to be rude, or crush anyone's hopes, that is the last thing I want to do, I don't kick when the bitch is on the floor already.

But, oh come on!

"I'm not breaking up with you, I just need a break"

Are you listening to yourself?

If you can't handle the relationship, then just go ahead and just say it, ending a relationship now instead of extending the date for a week or three, it'll only make it worse,

if not for you, do it for him. Break it up.

We need to talk

a.k.a. "Relationship breakers, a cliché compilation and why they suck (Part 1)"

We need to talk.

Nothing good comes out of "we need to talk," ever. Not only is that a phrase no one wants to hear, it's a phrase dreaded everywhere and in every language possible. Why? Because it turns something ordinary and casual (talking) and phrase it as the most important thing you'll be doing. 

I know I've covered some relationship topics before, I may not know all but I've certainly heard almost everything there is to hear, and if there's something I don't want to hear, ever, is this:

You deserve better than me.

Who was the idiot who came up with this? I'll tell you who: a loser, a quitter, and someone who probably didn't the deserve to be in a relationship in the first place.

Let me tell you something about what "you deserve better" implies:

First, it implies that you know you are doing a lousy job as a boyfriend. Not only that, it also makes it pretty clear you have yourself in a low standard, to even think you are with someone who you don't "deserve".

And third, and maybe the most important thing: It means that even though you know you are doing a bad job, you prefer to take the easy road and quit the relationship, instead of working and hoping and trying to improve.

Because that's just it, here's the ironic twist:

Saying "you deserve better" may actually be a true statement, if the guy is willingly giving up the relationship because he can't make the effort of working to be better... then you DEFINATELY deserve better.

And the worst part is, we don't like "better". We don't want, need or seek better. We are in this relationship because WE want to be in it. Right?

I'm going to be as honest as I can allow myself in this one and say it: I work hard to be in a good relationship. I know, I know, that's not what a relationship is supposed to be, like everything else it has to have a balance, not everything will be sugar-coated and pink. It isn't. But if I can do anything to make my man feel better, godammit I will, because that's what it's all about.

I haven't had this one applied to me, but it happened to a girlfriend of mine, I was a friend of both parties involved and it wasn't a pretty sight. 

So, what the fuck?

In his words... "She needs someone better, She's so amazing but I don't deserve her!"

In her words... "I don't know what happened, he just said he couldn't be with me anymore, that I needed to find someone better!"

Let me say it once more: What. The. Fuck?

There's only one thing that I can say, and it is this: Girl, if he's not willing to be better for you, then you REALLY deserve something better.

Quick updates.

Even though I'm not posting anything, I still check my blog every once in a while, read some of the things I've said, hoping to get inspired. Part of me has been inspired lately, but my fun muse has left the building, and the new one has dark and straight hair all over her face, and scars in her arms, as she cuts herself to feeel aliveee.

Joking, kinda.

You've read (hopefully) the last two entries, it's not the last of the emo series. Because, even though our flag is a rainbow, sometimes black is needed.

In other news, trying to learn how to do my own clothes has failed miserably.

The thing I prayed for? Has also failed miserably. Thanks, God. (Can't tell you to go to Hell, can I? Good thing I don't believe in you)

And worst of all? I laughed, again. (*shoots himself*)

Sorry!

When I started this blog, I was convinced a weekly update wouldn't be a hard thing to manage. It's been over a month since my last post, I fail at life.

There's been a lot of shit going on in my life, I broke up with my boyfriend, work, college (finals!) , etc.

I won't promise to post something soon because my muse is MIA, but I'll try to find her.

Oh, I almost forgot... I'm learning how to sew! I'm having some troubles with the stuuupid sewing machine but I noticed something peculiar about the way I look at some clothes...

F:*is watching a TV show* Wow, that skirt is pretty, and... it's not that hard to make, I can totally see the pattern, maybe I'll have trouble with the pleating but... Fuck, all doubts about my gayness should be gone by now.

Life's a song...

Why can’t life be a musical? First of all, because half of my friends would commit suicide before the intro, and secondly, if life were a musical… this would happen:

Well, not as glamorous as you'd expect it, but I'm sure Life would make this kind of musical.

Lately I’ve been wondering why life can’t be a musical (I know, I know, really gay of me, let me be)… I’m a huge Buffy fan, I absolutely loved the special musical episode, Hairspray? Chicago? Cats? Across The Universe? Heck, I’ve even watched High School Musical (1 and 2).

I’m not into the idea only because everyone would have a great voice and amazing dancing skills, but because, musicals are honest. There’s an honesty that only requires a minimum effort to capture, you know what’s happening with everyone by just hearing out a bit of the tune they are dancing/singing to. Life would be so much easier, wouldn't it? You'd knew you are screwing things up with your significant other just by hearing them sing or something. So much easier, yet...

Why can't this happen? I'm not asking why can't my boyfriend just start singing his feelings or fears, I'm asking, why can't we just do that? Just... say what's really in our minds without fear. I'm pretty much talking from experience here, but I know I'm not the only one who feels like this (right?). What I really want, aside from being able to sing, is honesty. One of my life's motto is to never complain unless I'm doing something about it, and so I promise this: I promise that I'll live according to a musical's honesty. That I'll say what I feel, when I feel it.

Trying to go back to my point, if there is one, is that… life sucks, songs or no songs, get used to it. No, no, I’m kidding. I’m still hoping for a day when I’m out shopping or something and, out of nowhere, people start singing and dancing for something as trivial as napkins. I guess I’ll keep on hoping.

Note: I’m blaming this post on a friend of mine who made me watch Across The Universe, but who am I kidding? I was dying to watch the movie around 6 months before it came out (and never got to watch it till almost a year after that. Watch it if you are in the mood.