Maybe we should take a break

There are many ways to break up a relationship, some are creative (sending a voice-recorded build-a-bear with the message "I think we should break up") and some are just lame (texts, IMs, over the phone... or in any way that involves saying "it's me, not you"), but, no matter how you do it, it's still going to be painful.

You know what's a bad way of breaking up with someone?

Telling them that you still love him, that you need him or that you feel that he is the one, but that you don't really know what's going on, what's going to happen between you and that... maybe, the best thing to do, is take a little break.

Oh come on.

I don't want to be rude, or crush anyone's hopes, that is the last thing I want to do, I don't kick when the bitch is on the floor already.

But, oh come on!

"I'm not breaking up with you, I just need a break"

Are you listening to yourself?

If you can't handle the relationship, then just go ahead and just say it, ending a relationship now instead of extending the date for a week or three, it'll only make it worse,

if not for you, do it for him. Break it up.

Buying the Cow

In an interesting string of events, I've come to realize something that I wouldn't want to be called for in any other situation, ever:

I AM the cow.

The saying goes like this "Who is going to buy the cow, when they get the milk for free?" And I don't even want to start on the connotations of calling myself a free-milk-giving-cow. But I am.

It has always been like that for me, I can't seem to grasp the idea of a relationship going like this: "friends-date-kissing-making out-sex"

And what happens when you kiss a guy you like BEFORE really even... talking to him?

You end up in a FRIENDSHIP, and of course the guy isn't too anxious to get into something more formal, after all, he's getting all the perks with no burden whatsoever, and you wonder why the relationship didn't blossom?

You are the cow, and here, I am the cow. You'd think I learned my lesson the first time, took me 4 months AFTER our first kiss (with many others following) before he accepted our relationship, which is a lot of work gone to waste considering the whole formality of it all lasted exactly 3 months. Recap: 2 months beating around the bush, 3 months of kissing and fondling and angst (that part was only mine) and then, after that, 3 months of a really lousy relationship.

The part that bugs me, is that... even though that happened almost 3 years ago, I can still think of my following relationships or involvements and in all of them (and, frankly, in all before) I've always been a Cow, and I even defend myself with the thought "Well, of course I need to give some milk for free, he needs to know he's going to like me".

I'll be damned if you think there's any good in giving away all you have for free, so please: Don't be a cow.

We need to talk

a.k.a. "Relationship breakers, a cliché compilation and why they suck (Part 1)"

We need to talk.

Nothing good comes out of "we need to talk," ever. Not only is that a phrase no one wants to hear, it's a phrase dreaded everywhere and in every language possible. Why? Because it turns something ordinary and casual (talking) and phrase it as the most important thing you'll be doing. 

I know I've covered some relationship topics before, I may not know all but I've certainly heard almost everything there is to hear, and if there's something I don't want to hear, ever, is this:

You deserve better than me.

Who was the idiot who came up with this? I'll tell you who: a loser, a quitter, and someone who probably didn't the deserve to be in a relationship in the first place.

Let me tell you something about what "you deserve better" implies:

First, it implies that you know you are doing a lousy job as a boyfriend. Not only that, it also makes it pretty clear you have yourself in a low standard, to even think you are with someone who you don't "deserve".

And third, and maybe the most important thing: It means that even though you know you are doing a bad job, you prefer to take the easy road and quit the relationship, instead of working and hoping and trying to improve.

Because that's just it, here's the ironic twist:

Saying "you deserve better" may actually be a true statement, if the guy is willingly giving up the relationship because he can't make the effort of working to be better... then you DEFINATELY deserve better.

And the worst part is, we don't like "better". We don't want, need or seek better. We are in this relationship because WE want to be in it. Right?

I'm going to be as honest as I can allow myself in this one and say it: I work hard to be in a good relationship. I know, I know, that's not what a relationship is supposed to be, like everything else it has to have a balance, not everything will be sugar-coated and pink. It isn't. But if I can do anything to make my man feel better, godammit I will, because that's what it's all about.

I haven't had this one applied to me, but it happened to a girlfriend of mine, I was a friend of both parties involved and it wasn't a pretty sight. 

So, what the fuck?

In his words... "She needs someone better, She's so amazing but I don't deserve her!"

In her words... "I don't know what happened, he just said he couldn't be with me anymore, that I needed to find someone better!"

Let me say it once more: What. The. Fuck?

There's only one thing that I can say, and it is this: Girl, if he's not willing to be better for you, then you REALLY deserve something better.

A Censored Fag

I'm loud, noisy, if there's a chance to be out and proud, I'll take it... And yet, the first time someone actually tries to censor me is not by any of this.

It was all because of my t-shirt.

A friend of mine invited me to hear him play at a public school, he was going to play some reinassance music to a bunch of 3rd to 5th graders.

As I was in a corner of the small auditorium, just sitting and waiting for the kids to show up when my friend comes up to me and tells me I need to change my shirt.

Excuse me? 

Apparently, the director of the small consort didn't think I was wearing something appopiate for kids to see and that I needed to change shirts or cover the caption. There was no way I could cover it, flip it? Something, anything, to cover it up. Luckily my friend had changed shirts for the presentation (just to look nicer) and I could use the one he wasn't wearing.

What did it say? "Love Sucks" and it had a broken heart right next to it.

The apple really doesn't fall that far from the tree

-This happened while I went grocery shopping with my mom-
Mom: Look, see that guy over there? He's really handsome.
Fag: What?... Oh, yeah... kind of, I don't really like what he's wearing.
Mom: He has a nice way of walking, I like his attitude.
Fag: Sure, but he's not dressed really well, is he?
Mom: Who cares? Why do you even want him with clothes?

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PS: Yes, I'll pretend the last months with no updates whatsoever didn't happen